娘の最後の進路相談 中学校にて～

懇談を待っている間に撮りました。

私が通っていた時はここのテニスコートは男子テニス部が使っていたけど、

いつの間にか、無くなっちゃったんだね。

あ～、テニスがしたいな。

先日、長女の受験する公立高校を決定する為の進路懇談がありました。
私学が受かってから、すっかり勉強する気持ちが失せてる感じがするんだけど…。

受かる公立高校より、チャレンジしてでも通いたい高校を受けたらいいやん、と言ってるので、恐らく志望校を伝えてすぐに終わるんかと思っていたら…。

…よく考えたら、最後の実力テストも、期末考査も、結果を見せて貰っていない。
テスト結果を出すように言ったら、機嫌は悪くなるし、後での一点張りだったので、もういいわと諦めてしまったんよなあ。

実際に結果を先生の口から聞いて、先生は親に見せてないことに、私はその結果にビックリ。
本人も改めて現実を突きつけられて、迷走し出して、結局学校を決めるどころか、『まだ時間があるから、やる気が起こらない』『中学ではサボったし、もう今から挽回は無理だ』『みんなは賢いから出来るけど、私はできない』とか後ろ向きな発言ばかり。

先生が「もうテストが１５日前って今日も言ってたけど、聞いてた？いつやる気になるの？」って聞き返され、『私学の時もそうだったけど、一週間前。』だと答えてた娘…。

　　　　　

ずっと娘が抱いてる劣等感、みんなと違う、同じようには出来ないことを感じていたし、今も感じてるので、自信が持てない娘の気持ちはすごく理解できるんだよなーと、帰り際、二人で話しました。
そんな自分が嫌で、どのようにしたら自分の特性と捉えて、それを受入れ、自分らしさを持てるようになったか…当然、二人は違う人なので、娘と私とではその克服方法が違うかもしれないけどね、と私が心掛けいたことを話しながら、帰りました。

帰ってから、父親に…

人生生きていく中で、上手くいかないことなんて山ほどあって、小さい時から行く手に楽しみや喜びだけではなく壁も年相応に待ち構えていて、それにどう向き合い、乗り越えるかを少しずつ勉強していってるところなんだと、単に受験勉強をしているだけではないよと言われていました。
更に、今の状態に納得してるかどうか聞かれ、納得していないと答える娘に、旦那はあと２週間あるから、最後まで諦めずに頑張れと後押しされ、娘は泣いていました。

結局、今回は結論を出さずに持ち帰って来ました。
最終、今週の金曜日までに返事をしたらいいと言われたので、それまでにゆっくり本人は考えるでしょう。

落書きを消す為なんだろうけど、

白すぎて、むっちゃ目立ってる～

The last meeting to decide a public school my daughter will go

I took a pic while waiting for our turn.
When I went to school, boys used this tennis court, but
boys tennis club has gone away now.

I want to play tennis again, but can't do it anymore, I wonder...

This Monday I went to a meeting with my older daughter's classroom teacher to decide which hich school she will take an exam. 
After she found she could pass the private high school, I feel like she lost the energy to study...

We always say she should select one she really wants to go instead of one she can pass it, so I thought she would tell the name of the school and the meeting would be over soon...

... I didn't look at the scores of both of the tests at school. 
Because she didn't want to show both tests to us.

When I listened to the results from her teacher finally, the teacher was surprised she didn't show the tests and I was surprised at the scores.

As soon as she was told about the final results, she came to be at a loss too much to decide the school.
She told the teacher " I think I still have time, so the motivation will not happen""I have jumped on school during my school days and can't recover from now""Everyone is smart, different from me".
She said only negative messages.

The teacher asked if she listened to that it was 15 days before they would take the test and when she would get the motivation.
She replied "1 week before as I did in the private school's test." 
The teacher couldn't find the right advice soon because she was really surprised.

　　　　　

The inferiority complex that my daughter has been holding for a long time,
"I'm different from others and can't do same as they do."

I could understand her well because I have still been worried about it. Children looks after their parents, so she resembles me.

While we went back home, I talked with her for a while.
I couldn't do well like others and disliked myself when I was a junior high school, and I didn't know how to think about and handle my own difficulties. I started to understand how to capture and try to keep company with my personalities after I was a high school student.
I talked about how to overwhelm it I had been trying as a reference. 

And after coming back home, she was said by her father...

While we live our own life, there are so many things we can not do well.
We have got many walls are waiting for besides a lot of fun and pleasure according our ages, and she is learning how to face and get it over little by little. She doesn't study just for taking exams.

And moreover, he asked her whether she was satisfied with current herself, and she replied "NO".
He pushed her to do the best as much as she could during this 2 weeks without giving up. She nodded silently with sobbing. 

Finally, we haven't made a decision yet, she will answer by this Friday. 
She will decide it after a lot of thinking. 

They painted white to hide students draw on purpose,

It's too white, so a little strange on the door.